eiremoi is me, three-quarters of the time.










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14 feb 2010
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insomnia for the time

harumph.

well im generally the kind of person to steer clear of excessive displays of affection, or at least i'd like to think so, hence i would take this as a general exception.

i miss my boyfriend. its not him being away from me for three days now that bugs. if its only that, id be the first to call me naive. we have had long distance bits before, now. guess im just thinking about what happens next. it'll never be the same things we had before. next is home, family, four-hour journeys and then work, which let's face it, tends to be all-encompassing.

so well. i miss azli. yeah its been three days. but ive been keeping myself occupied. did useful things like un-beading a silk scarf in preparation for more beadwork, did some full-on groceries, finalizing last aesthetic bits for graduation, bought an iron (?) and planned and navigated my next few days to its full potential.

still it feels a teensy bit empty. a teeeens weeeeensy bit. hmm. guess things have all changed and we've all grown up a bit in these last month. whats in my head also is the arrival of the family and the madness that is organizing a proper trip about europe. the trick, i realize, is to not organize. it isn't like travelling with friends, as i have many a time lectured to azli. let things unfold. which is why im pseudo-turning a blind eye at my mum's suggestions of accomodations in the uk. we will go with the flow. i trust it'll work.

i digress. anyways am listening to 'try sleeping with a broken heart'. which makes a whole lotta sense other than the 'telling me lies' part and the 'broken heart' and its 'shutting down'. not usually my style of easy listening but im feeeeeling it. haha. even i am cringing at the essence of this post.

so tonight, im gonna find a way to make it without you. tonight, im gonna find a way to make it without you. im gonna hold on to the times that we had. tonight, im gonna find a way to make it without you.

fatin, fatin. absolute jiwangness.

endure this with a pinch of salt, yeah. if you can find even a smidge within yourself of love and affection, i think you can relate.

i love my sayang.