eiremoi is me, three-quarters of the time.










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14 feb 2010
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insomnia for the time

its like shrek says, its onions. its layers and layers that no matter what you do or how you peel, its going to sting.

it might strike first from a seemingly innocuous incident, spurred on by long days and perhaps peppered by hormones and sleep deprivation, and culminated by the ever-growing push to talk talk talk, no thanks to current module which seems, day by day, to make it more and more about interpersonals and less and less about actual medicine, which entices.

anyways i digress. fact is sometimes things go on and on and at some stage you stop and say hey!. and for one moment, you rebel. you think back over the years and figure out that everything is shaped by something and you point fingers metaphorically and you just want to pick a reason why things are the way they are.

you might want to imply that every decision you've made in your life is defined one way or another by what they say. accuse them of perhaps not understanding the full picture. they can't anyway. they're miles and miles and miles away and no matter how well they know you they dont know this. and they cant be making a decision that simply, on the basis that they dont know the facts. mudah je.

and ultimately, you decide that everyone's human and we all make mistakes, and it all boils down to accepting that, no matter how much better it might make one feel to just be in a strop. throw a tantrum. its much easier, as the paeds GP said earlier, to just be childlike. not childish, but childlike. to just let go. coz its amazing how anal people can be, holding it all in, putting up a facade. not judging, i do it too. all the time. but yeah. a little relaxing of specific sphicters might be of use in this circumstance.

and at the end of all of it, you realize it could be a lot worse. and yeah we're all in piles of poo and its never going to be all rosy all of the time anyways. be thankful and grateful. and appreciate the little things. the support you have. what gets you up in the morning and puts smiles on your faces.

or who. :)

told you we're all onions.

ps - hopefully a round of basketball might clear the head.