eiremoi is me, three-quarters of the time.










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14 feb 2010
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Boon May for art
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insomnia for the time

we had a cute discussion on this earlier today, myself and some of the few (?) in tullamore. it was more like a passing conversation in the res room that of course preempted more thoughts and subsequent 'inputs' later on in the tea room etc (we seem to be going for too many breaks here, in retrospect).

anyhoo. the discussion was a lot about our personal experiences about how we got here. surprisingly enough (at least to me), most of the people i know don't want to be here. i didn't expect that as i went along, supposedly suffering through the years of med school. some never wanted to read medicine. some never knew what they wanted to do, some just got the offer and accepted it, some did because of family expectations (beep!), some did because they had to, some just wanted to bleedin study overseas. which doesn't matter at the end of the day because the common ground is that most of us never knew this would be it.

course im being melodramatic. its not all bad or all hard. but this wasn't what most of us signed in for. so maybe some struggle their own way. some become reclusive. some take it out on others. to each their own.

so yes. sometimes i, or we, can be pardoned for wanting something different.

and its good to realize that sometimes you see things you want to do and people you want to emulate and know that thats not the life choice u made (voluntary or otherwise), and that okay, maybe you'll never get the chance to do the things you want and be the kind of person you see yourself being, or that maybe you would. not that you're above certain kinds of behaviour or anything, no, but things you've experienced warrant that you won't ever be that 'age' again. maybe that sounds a little un-PC. all i'm trying to say is once or twice it looks fun to be someone else but you know that it isn't happening.

or maybe these choices lead to a different set of circumstances, different way of life, not only to ourselves but people around us and different forms of gratification, some that we'll never find anywhere else.

so yeah, maybe its okay. im still gonna moan, though. :D