Sunday, September 07, 2008
i wonder now if the world wants one to revolve around one place and when one gets out of that imaginary circle, one should immediately, like the pull of gravity, direct oneself back in. maybe we are all destined to be, if not perpetually happy, in a state of satiety. be complete. be okay with how things are, and when we start not being okay, start backpedalling. start doing what it takes to make ourselves happy, whether its reading style magazines or blogging or lying horizontal in bed with the duvet up to the chin. to each their individual preference.i spose its not that difficult a concept. it actually makes some sense. be happy. and if you're not, start doing something about it. admittedly, some causes of unhappiness are beyond our grasp but do something, however minor. i think thats hard, but im going to try this. first things first, gotta find that book that spurred this trail of thoughts. then start.when thinking, and listening about, and noticing the mechanics of relationships, mine and others, i start to wonder: am i possibly the only one who imagines growing old and still be sappily in love, not unlike the couple on the train en route to ski in the alps, holding both each others' hands. possibly middle aged, but you could never tell. maybe even in my head its just a fantasy. does it happen? is it remotely possible? its just when i see others in fruitful relationships but without affection, i realize that thats not what i want. i spose at the end of the day you get what you get. but haih. its a chicken egg thingy. and im moderately hypo so i'd rather not be thinking to much.
but ultimately i would like it. whether it happens or not is a completely different issue. and oh, i was just remembering some of my summer memories and out came the expression from a friend who wasn't outrightly showing her emotions but through her veil, i could see exactly what she was feeling. which tickled me to no end.and then the phone beeps and im happy.
<3 <3 <3
11:47
