eiremoi is me, three-quarters of the time.










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14 feb 2010
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insomnia for the time

just earlier today i was talking to the roomate, whilst doing the randoms like listening to benny and the jets and listing out the james bonds. we were in our usual positions: she at the table, reading up for her OSCEs and myself cross-legged on the bed, palliative care notes in one hand, guitar on my lap. just an everyday scenario.

and then i made a joke. more a flippant retort than a joke but it was one i heard so many times and had gotten so used to that it just flowed out of me. and it wasnt my joke. it was somebody else's spontaneous response, someone else's phrase, someone else's words coming out of my mouth. it sounded like a thoughtless and discrepant response but it hit me not unlike a ton of bricks. the conversation (or was it the music?) continued seamlessly but inside i was hitting back. it made me quiet for a while and put the guitar down.

and as quickly as that i forgot what it was that i did. i couldn't for the life of me recall what it was that i said, only how i felt when i said it.

and that either makes me changed, insane or downright forgetful. whichever it is, it made me smile.