Sunday, March 16, 2008
i miss weekdays where at least there's
sex and the city to take the edge off. or the random
scrubs double bill.
i want to get over this quickly. study ent/oph. work on stuff before i start hospital rotations. getting over it. doing the workbook. writing that song. i've said too much already. but clearly achieving that is impossible. there are too many hours in a day i waste thinking, planning, and deciding on doing things for the sake of not doing the very things i am thinking, planning and deciding on doing.
and i miss. i miss being irresponsible, or the more PC term, being responsible for nothing. i miss intellectual and not so intellectual conversations in the general damansara area. i miss the toe-curling feeling. i am missing things in so many strata and
within those, on so many levels.
and yet i am feeling positive. i have started the workbook. planned out my future albeit abstractly. piled up all the work i need to do, and by when. i am cherishing my off days as much as poss without compromising as much.
there is much to not love, in this world. and if the last few blog posts i've had are privy to how much i am not loving how things are right now, or how i am, or how it's like, it is showing me as i am. not really up to telling everyone that i am feeling like crap. absolutely hating the feeling i get when i am at home, and in this room and on this bed, but this is where everything is, and where i can be safe (which leads again to the vicious cycle). i am at a loss, and too embarassed to face the world and admit to it.
which is essentially what this blog is for. this blog is my silent cry for help.
<3 <3 <3
23:03
