Monday, February 18, 2008
eh. go fly kites. i don't need to give anyone any explanation about anything. i have never interrogated anyone about the whats and whys in their personal life. i have never bothered myself with why you're doing what with who when you're definitely not supposed to. asalkan ko bahagia. what is it about me actually being happy that makes everyone feel like throwing stones in my direction? can't a person decide to do something borderline dangerous, for just a short period of her short life, knowing very, very well the repercussions and potential effects, and not get stigmatized for it? i am not blind, and at the very least, please allow me the fact that im definitely not that stupid. that i might be a little bit of both, and that that, i can't help. being this way does not guarantee me 100% happiness, and i know this, but if you were ever in my shoes, you would understand the ifs and whys of how im allowing myself to settle for a little less. the most fucktard part is that you know exactly how i feel because you are feeling exactly the same way with your you-know-whos, yet make a resolute mission to feel obligated to stand up and be self-righteous. this road takes me to a dark, dark place, but it makes me become who i am. and if you wont like me like this, please just dont like me at all.and fuck the stupid secrets you have that ur just dying to tell me but 'cant'. lately i have had friends who have let me down. seriously. sometimes i wished i didn't care as much.this is not an olive branch, not a raging displeasure meant to directly abuse individuals involved, not a moment of insanity, but just words that have been dying to get out for so many months. im just sore from the disappointment. please, please just allow me to do what i have to do. i only have 18 days left."we are but a bunch of stupids. there really isn't anything anyone can do about that."
<3 <3 <3
23:03
