Saturday, February 16, 2008
im sitting here hoping to be objective about things. well there's always the danger of something happening the instant you want to have something in your mind typed out, as illustrated by so many people and already in so many blogs.valentine's day haritu was great, by theory. waste not your thoughts on what i meant by that.at the moment i am questioning what exactly makes me happy and what makes me feel empty inside, and how that makes or breaks the system. right now, for instance. the day is full of possibilities. there's sunshine since nine in the morning, and there are two events on today, both of which are great. but i'd almost rather be curled up in a ball on my bed. almost.what's probably most draining is the fact that i feel lately that i don't want to do this anymore. and yet simultaneously realizing that i would just go back, knowing my fragility and general need to please. having both thoughts at the same time is distressing. this is never new, i know. what i mean is im going to try to start to stop (?) overlooking things. no more glazing over. no more rose-tintedness for now. its small, but a beginning nonetheless.anyways on a lighter note i read something recently, think it was in sab's blog, about doing something that scares you every day. okay, maybe the scary bit is irrelevant, but its made me firmly decide to go today. both events. do everything. i think the people who are missing out the most in life are those who think they're too good for other things or event or people. im not too good/important/busy/tired to miss out. besides, everyone's going home soon. let that be a motivation if any.haih jalan la ko 10 minit. mandi pun belum. ha ha. there are a million blogs entries to come, so let this one be wasted with thoughts i have on what and how i am today. it does have today's date on it.
<3 <3 <3
11:06
