eiremoi is me, three-quarters of the time.










kaka(not the footballer)
green tea
holidays
sleep
14 feb 2010
home
topshop





:conclusions
:time generally
:moolah

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Msiamoi
Weddingblog!
Sureen
Hanizah
Ekin
Danial
Hadi
Sarah Amin
Jay
Jim
Ajin
Corom

I/O

thanx

Boon May for art
mak for strength
insomnia for the time

i know things are a little crazy now, and i haven't any time to just kick back and do what i want but i actually feel kinda, well, happy. i am happy. im up to here (indicates chin) with malaysian night stuff and school's upped the ante on hours, and rightfully so. clinicals. can't quite believe i'm here already. and now that i'm here, can't believe this is what it is.

this is actually the only me time i've had all week. pathetic, indeed. my me time is in the com lab, with as many windows open as possible(ucd IT services insist on not upgrading to IE 7, hence the option of opening as many tabs as possible is not feasible at the moment), and enjoying an apple, and making a shopping list. but im content. i feel fulfilled somehow. i know deep down that its probably because everything is new and surprising and that once the novelty wears off and we start doing the same old grinds depression will set in and zap me of my energies. but it is odd.

it is responsibility and though for most of some days i wished i was rid of it as it always sucks the life out of me, but for once im enjoying it. im thriving on doing it right. its addictive. i am undoubtedly going off the wrong end of the insanity scale. oh no.

well im not saying its not scary. it is. and like i said, this is temporary. im high on curiosity. it'll pass.

and i miss home. i read ayah's email saying that everything's fine back home and what everyone is up to and who's back from hajj and the understanding undertone he uses when he askes me to call whenever i can get the time to and it just makes me miss, you know? makes me imagine what its like to be there, and how i felt when i was home. it doesn't mean that i want to be home right now. i'm happy, remember? im merely reminding myself of that feeling, of the little things about malaysia that you don't really think about otherwise, but might just pop into your brain when you least expect it. like a specific brand of chewing gum. or an obscure place that everyone seems to know.

im just so very content. no, satisfied. well, i can't even begin to describe the way i feel now. maybe surprise at how well im coping and how im responding to things around me. maybe. i can never know.

*floats*