Tuesday, January 15, 2008
i just spent about half an hour late today watching a docu on attachment parenting, which is generally a method of parenting which emphasizes bonding, breastfeeding, constant attention and closeness. people who practise attachment parenting usually homeschool, delay weaning the child from breastfeeding, carry their children around, and sleep with their children.i don't know if its just me, but i find the idea suffocating. i might be saying this due to a subconscious reversion to societal norms, but i believe it's not only difficult but detrimental to over-attach, especially on a prolonged basis. and the sprinkles on the ice-cream cone can only be watching a five-year-old stopping to talk to her mother intermittently while breastfeeding. call me a prude, but i see the act of a conscious, talking person suckling on another person's breast as sexual and/or perverse. i think this time it's probably not just me. don't get me wrong, i have absolutely nothing against breastfeeding. i think that every mother who's physically able to should breastfeed, time and medical limitations permitting. i suppose im in the school of thought where my (future) career will never allow me to be that attentive or available as a parent and perhaps has taught me to accept that to disattach and disengage which your child is an inevitable process, and seeing others mollycoddle their own makes me want to object, either due to logic or to jealousy, i know not.i was also brought up in an environment where discipline is important. no smackings and telling-offs meant rude, attention seeking behaviour. but then again, if you pay them enough attention, they wouldnt need to seek anymore, would they? one parent made an excellent point about having to communicate and speak diplomatically to a child when he/she is throwing a tantrum, showing said child how to not solve problems with violence, and how to communicate and get your points effectively and with maturity. but then again, its easy to practise attachment parenting when you've got one child. what if you have four around the same age? how do you give so many children the same, nary, undivided attention? is it possible?well im sure people who practise attachment parenting has long faced doubts and questions from others. i do admire their dedication, and that maybe love is the answer to saving the world, one child at a time. what's even more weird for me was a branch of attachment parenting, known as elimination communication, where you ban usage of nappies nearly altogether and learn to tell when your child needs to pee/poop starting at an early age, which only means earlier potty training, and more effective parent-child communication. but by god, the means of getting there surely meant accidents in the house, and outside. and you can't, can't make your 6 month old pee on a bush at any street corner. disposable nappies are meant to be for convenience. before that there were cloth nappies, and before that, people used any sort of materials. perhaps before that, people allowed their children to litter the ground with their matter, but to revert back to that time in history is interesting, but to what level of benefit? its almost to me as if the parents are becoming obsessed about parenting. maybe other parents are being too blase about parenting. its like a tennis game where the ball is passed from one side of the court to the other. you can revert back and forth and not reach a conclusion. so im just going to leave it there till i become a parent myself and see how it goes for me. i don't know enough as it is to warrant proper discussing. well, the more i read about it, the more evidence there is that there is clear benefit from all of this, so tunggu dan lihat(cuba)?and oh, apparently my mother used cueing, one component of elimination communication with us as kids. menarik.what think you?
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