Sunday, December 02, 2007
sometimes it sucks. sometimes you wonder, just simply wonder. things are never all that much different, is it? today for instance. it was difficult to just be present. it was an amalgamation of separate but subsequent incidences, each impeding and pressing on to the next. it blew my mind.there always are two sides to people, aren't there? and one of those sides are usually uglier. well some people have two pretty sides. but for the majority of us, its just a side the world perceives, and another that we keep so far deep for the inborn fear of anyone would find out. or that we subconciously hide. in any case when this side of us leaks, the worst happens. just when we think we can finally open up and reveal that side of us, or when we think we know and trust a person enough to reveal it, we crash. we almost wish we never told. and what about the reverse? when you see someone's ugly side, and find out it thwarts many a fond memory and wipes off the perspective we had on the person. it shatters the pedestal we place said person on, it tears off every label we have for years attached to them, it ruins us by messing with the things we think we know. just by finding out that we actually don't. it is about time. it has everything to do with time. it is about a split-second of weakness. it is about the cycles and circles of pain. how it's inlaid and how simultaneously, it's passed around like a disease. like an infection.it is also about words. how it is true that sometimes its best to just keep one's mouth shut. that there are things that are better left unsaid. that also, there are things that should be said, and the retention of those are the very core of the problem. there is forgetting and remembering and perception and conclusions. it is comparison and betrayal, and disappointments and shocks. it is a kaleidoscope of emotions, too many in fact, to be felt within just so many days. hence paragraph one.a good thing to do is to just stick to reality. stick to what we currently know. like that at the end of the day, the only way out is in. and that there are flaws. so obvious are these flaws that they are almost physical, like scabs we peel again and again, imprinting and deepening the scar and making it stay. what is even better is to stop for a second, and accept. because when you can actually face the circumstance, smile, and think that it's okay, you're more than halfway there. selamat membesar.
<3 <3 <3
21:35
