Friday, June 01, 2007
today of all days i feel different. there's something about the tranquility of being post-everything. post-term and exams. post-restrictions. and pre-everything-else perhaps. pre-possibilities. or free will. independence. the possibilities
thrill,
scare and
bore me all at the same time. its crazy. i know it is.
today's most poignant moment was when i talked to wani about the
malaysian airlines flight 653's 1977 crash in tanjung kupang, which killed mak's fiance(pre-ayah, obv), the copilot; the flight in which wani's mama was supposed to be on but missed. its freaky how each incident, however unprecedented, could figure in a whole different dimension. we figured that if wani's mama managed to catch that flight,
wani wouldn't be here. if the plane was not hijacked,
i wouldn't be here.
in some bizzarely warped way of seeing things, it reasoned into our existence. one action/incident meant
our lives, and quite literally so. i
wiki-ed into it and whatnot, probably because i should. visit the memorial. encourage mak to talk. i know i want to.
thats probably as emotion-drenched as it can possibly be given my persistent airsickness and general lack of the zZzs. im missing matrix life for the briefest of seconds, and also for as brief a moment, i contemplated writing in here about how in love i feel. but that moment has come and gone, a blessing to eyes of people not wanting a sap-fest. in any case let me announce that
im a perasan, perasan beast. happened twice today. uhuk.
i think i am exactly where i should have always been and i want to show it to my family and everyone i care about, despite being aware that it isnt the best of circumstance for everyone, and that it has its flaws, yet even if the glasses arent exactly rose-tinted, i wont be complaining about it being a gorgeous
shade of soft pink.
<3 <3 <3
23:15
