Tuesday, April 24, 2007
i had a new, glass-shattering realization
which i am not about to forget anytime soon
im not gonna be an insolent prat by laying claim to it
but it sure as hell sux to keep it all in
hence and henceforth i am speaking of it vaguely as i always do when i have something to say yet cant say it outright for the rather valid reason of there being people in my immediate circles checking in on this blog every so often and i just cannot take that chance
im saying it because its not being passed forwards.
its like its hitting a wall yet not quite bouncing back
just quite stagnant in the in-betweens
i hate hate hate it, i tell you.
hmm.
i actually spent so long doing something else that i forgot altogether what bugged me in the first place.
i think im in need of lots and lots of
sleep.
(in)conclusively, its just that i know its wrong to keep it all in but the very reason i do that is to protect myself, deep down inside knowing that its gonna eat me right up in the end, but its my wall and my protection and my only known mode of defense so if i do break that wall and you make fun of me or make me feel small im never going to ever open up again.
you got that?
i just want to say that and not feel like an ass.
but i didn't say it and i still feel like one.
shucks.
<3 <3 <3
22:00
