Thursday, February 08, 2007
dear you short moments ago were filled with respect. with determination, and happiness. moments filled with frivolity, with fun. where the scales evened out. differences soldered, similarities embraced. those moments ago will and without doubt will return, and i await most patiently. many moments have left me wondering why. it is not as if i have never expected this. the circumstances certainly was not what i had in mind. this moment i fill with calm retrospection. i know you. i know your past, your present. i know your heart. i know that feeling of whole togetherness. I HAVE BEEN THERE. i know what it is all about. you are intelligent. but what irks me so is the fact that you pretend you know everything when you so obviously dont. just because you have been in rather thatchy situations doesnt mean you have any idea what i am going through. personally, judging by your unceremonious reaction recently, you have NO CLUE. being in love with someone who does love you back but couldnt, and being in love with someone who doesnt love you back is a different story altogether. just because you personally have never been in that particular situation doesnt mean it does not exist. just because every fruit tastes sweet to you doesnt mean someone else can't get a rotten apple. for fuck's sake, dont pretend. you don't know better. im so disappointed in everything. i am having my days, as do all of us. dont judge me. dont patronize me. dont think you can make decisions for me, or help me decide what to do. you're not my mother. please just let me have my day today. im really, really sorry for the outbreak. you know at the end of the day, i dont mean what i say. that its just endocrines talking, and not anything remotely neural. you know i could cry because of this. you have seen me cry because of this. it is only because at times like this it feels as if i will feel this way forever. feel it sampai ku menutup mata. lubiu. fatin.
<3 <3 <3
17:33
