Sunday, December 17, 2006
if recovery and lost sights were the only things left in the world, id probably just die trying to be alive. and if words and imagination were pried from my fingers i would die an old, fragile soul in a young woman's body. if whispers and lost hopes were the pillars od life i would simply be dead. fullstop.
what warrants one the ability to change? to worship the nothingness of what lies beyond ones trechearous life? to want and will oneself to be defiant, to resist the ropes that bind. to hunt for others.
and worst still, to watch others suffer as they learn. to prey on the weak link. the fragile, the porcelain. the uninitiated. to watch as they live in fear, ensconced by the very inhuman circles the predator makes for them.
and when one stands up, why cry for shame? why cant you not be different? why cant i not be different? why cant we all be different?
why play with all insanities, why play along? why succumb and live with bearing the guilt and the oppression? and why negate the strength? why look down upon those who look up to themselves?
i ask too many questions, and have answers to so few. i dont stand with the strong. i dont look up to the motion. i dont pretend i like it. but i am learning it. my own contribution to understanding.
i want to say it is wrong. you cant do that.
i wish i had.
-this should have been a poem. haha. anyhoo its just thoughts on something unnecessary to understand, because saying it as what it is is a good thing and a bad thing. initiated by an old friend who has changed so much, it just made me think of the truth. i am no more that girl.
<3 <3 <3
20:03
