Monday, November 06, 2006
im sitting in the dark, trying to type as quietly as i can, with my forehead covered with an eye-mask, giving me a semi-pirate, semi 1920s movie starlet appearance (wishful thinking).
im in the best of moods today, and i dare not think of why. i liked getting the MoD test over and done with as to allow myself to move on to various other (and no less important) modules.
i did something interesting today, which i will or will not divulge later on, depending on the outcome. it just brings to my mind how i love surprises. i love being surprised, but i love surprising others even more. there's just something about the element of the unexpected that stirs something inside of me. its probably just a kick i get out of the spontaniety. im bad at receiving them, though. but i love em nonetheless.
i am happy today. i was so calm and together that i went straight to studying and didnt stop till late. its amazing. imagine how much id gain from being a little less labile. im thinking of a lot of things right now, a lot of pseudo-plans and thoughts of much-deserved mini vacations. i feel like jumping and running. i feel like cooking up a feast. sometimes im bored and complacent and so i enjoy these moments of much joy. haha. am i still making sense here?
i wish my dreams came true. that within all hopes and aspirations, the only thing i want, i could get. i dont mind the wait. hehe. haha okay, maybe i do, but i spose this depends. im beginning to see the spiritual side of things as well, which is good. there's always a light at the end of the tunnel and though this one is a lot longer than that tunnel in perak, there's still an end to it, no matter how crappy it will be.
i dont think i should type any more than i have, since its late, and i need as much brain activity as i can extract for the two tests i have tommorow. hopefully the berkat counts.
haha owh i had this moment earlier at which i wondered if i was adopted. hahaha i donno why im messing with myself like that. im missing my mak pula. i was thinking about how she worries about me being so far away and so alone (alone defined as her not being there). she probably wonders whether ill change the next i come home. if i sound different, or act different. haha its weird to get into her head but i shan't be stopped. hehe. i miss home kot. that, and the idiopathic surge of endorphins which culminates in this weird blog on the late hours of 6/11. hahha tommorow's 7/11. how hilarious.
i am happy. i am tired and smelly and in need of some joyous sleep, but before that, i am happy.
im listening to a myriad of songs, all of which carries its own significance. im listening to nelly furtado's try, which symbolizes unknowingness and the fear of getting caught. it reminded me of moments of disorganization in the first stages of a relationship. earlier on i was listening to switchfoot's dare you to move which retold the story of things forbidden, lost thoughts and memories, and scars of the past. chantal krevaziuk's leaving on the jet plane symbolizes the promises, the imaginary and the smiles.
im going to sleep with a smile and a laugh and a divaesque eye mask to keep me in the dark. god knows i hate to see the light. (methaphor! metaphor!)
<3 <3 <3
11:39
