Wednesday, November 15, 2006
haha. ironic still. this hse has internet and yet we are still the ones blogging through notepad. harharhar. anyhoo yesterday was great. i want to explain why.
yesterday i had a whole 12 hours worth of stuff to do. with an exception of time spent in the library napping and doodling tattoos (more later), i had a full day, which didnt turn out too bad. had some mnite stuff done, notes printed, birthday prezzies received, and sleep deprived. haha kay so the last one didnt actually fit into the sentence.
anyhoo. yesterday i had a cal test for endo which turned out great. the spanish second assessment finally came forth, resuming its long-delayed calling. and frankly, that went well too. i had a great meet up with krish, rachael and sarah which was filled with the noises of us gurls and krish making a (rather convincing) lion dance impersonation.
i arrived home to the sight of ekin and zaim, who both insisted i closed my eyes and tadah my tgn for my belated birthday prezzies. they bought me four guitar picks! hehe. soooo sweet. it proved to me, in a small irrelevant languished way that it doesnt take much to please me at all. try surprises, prezzies and chocolate and youve got me sorted there. peaced like a baby well fed and burped.
anyways yesterday i saw someone who evoked enough interest in me to consider looking at the very shelves. it reminded me of old flames and heart-thumping crushes, and everything i fight and find. he reminded me of a situation. the last time that situation occured, i met a guy and thought he wasn't at all good looking, and ended up falling madly for him. hahha.
the humming of the computer reminds me of switchfoot's beautiful letdown's electronic humming. funky but at the same time slightly out of place. anyways excitement has conjured up many a thought and i pray that my instincts are right. its true what they say, if you want something bad enough, you can find it. or more commercially, impossible is nothing.
i drew (yes, drew) a tattoo on my ankle yesterday which is pathetic coz ive never done anything as stupid before. i do agree that this is totally a lame, mono-psychotic, goth wannabe kinda action, but i was cold. and i was stressed that everyone else i know is awol watching movies instead of going to dissection like my skema self. and i was worried about my is-it-or-isnt-it spanish ass. and so i drew. with red ink, a star and a heart. telling myself to be strong for two reasons: one - we are all stars, and two - someone out there loves me. nuff to make me happy.
yesterday someone called me a nerd playfully and for some acute reason im actually happy to be named so for the very first time. hahha. someone drew on my notes an ugly smile face in pen, and made funny faces at me. i know i am at risk of sounding obsessive but im just revelling in the fact that being oblivious to racism is beautiful. every person i meet who doesnt treat me like im foreign, who doesnt see me as that malaysian muslim girl but instead sees me as that girl gets a big heart from me. i want to raise kids who cant see race. who wonders why . who never just follows (and yet not be cocky or too opinionated). boy am i making expectations for myself.
conclusively (essay-style), (batt pun nak habis) i am a happy, smiling nerd who didnt push someone down the stairs, and who fell in lust with a stranger and feels intelligent after two exams on that auspicious tuesday. hell yeah i can't see the thing thats blocking my view of this beautiful world. i say yeah yeah.
xxxx
<3 <3 <3
10:44
