Saturday, October 21, 2006
im listening to some dance music emanating from bilik sebelah and my mind wanders off to slattery's and then to how i was involved in a relationship square. it looks more like a vector, but i sense that in actual fact, at uncertain points in time, it was a square. but ultimately, ever arrow in that square somehow pointed both ways, which is exactly how its supposed to be. everyone draws squares differently. some start from the top left corner and go all the way around. some draw a vertical line, pick up the pencil and start from the top of the line to complete the square. im sure left-handed people draw it differently too. and when i think about it, its apparent that this might go waaay deeper than what i foresee. maybe it does.
sometimes i rely too much on this blog. sometimes i feel like im alienating the people around me coz i dont tell em whats in my head. they know from reading this, but i wonder if they wonder why i dont say things in real life or whether i hide things from them but truthfully those werent my intentions at all. its just that my thoughts are too complicated and too pathetic to be said. it would just make things difficult and more complicated, which is why i choose not to speak. sometimes i have so many things left unsaid that i dont know what to do with them. have thought of screaming it off giants causeway the other day, though. or make a song about it. but i wont speak i think. its not worth it. i dont think this is a lost cause because ive said it before. silence is virtue.
<3 <3 <3
22:05
