Thursday, October 19, 2006
this is my fourth or fifth attempt at putting to words my thoughts for today and even so, i haven't a clue if this will be okay. hahha.ape lah.
anyways today i did many things but i feel like the day was unproductive somehow. i felt like i needed to do more. fill up my day with more than what ive already succeeded doing. i feel like crap also because its late and i have a very, very full day tommorow. but thankfully its friday and so all this shite will end soonest.
today i did much thinking. i thought of how true the saying silence is virtue really is. i felt like the sound of silence speaks a lot more than words. that it conveys a true meaning, so its even more powerful than lies. if the answer to a question is a silent one than surely the answer is unfavourable. and that concludes more than any given answer. isnt that just amazing? the irony of it all.
i read a little of my favourite book and #57 rings true. its funny how things you read can relate to how your life is and how the experiences one has been through has been similar. so i related and agreed and thought about it and rethink it and in the end im back squarely where i am before.
i also had a little skip of imagination today, of which i just let my mind wander. its liberating and slightly aneh but it fun to let your mind bring you wherever, and not worry if your found out, or if any of the shit in your head ever really happens because its within you and no one else has access to it. mind you, there were no murderous/sexual/disturbing scenes going around in my head. they were just thoughts. simple exponential divisions of possibilities than can occur out of the most trivial of circumstance.
i managed to start choreographing which got me a lil nervous coz im scared it wont come up to scratch. but im real happy with progress and ive already organized a few things and even a possible storyline within it. hehe nantikan!
it was all a bit of a whirl today but im ending this day with a note of melancholy, coz as much as our imagination can be very interesting vehicles, we are still left with reality mostly, and reality sux. reality is what pains you and wrecks you and yet these are the things that shape you and make you strong. and so the vicious cycle goes on and on. the bad brings good and then brings bad and then good and so forth. there will not be a stop sign anywhere so what im going to do is sleep and begin the cycle again tommorow. and wish that soon there will be a bearer carrying a thin red ring with a slash going across it. its within; within.
<3 <3 <3
23:01
