straightjacket and stardust

Monday, October 30, 2006

i had this song going round and round in my head for the longest time. i dont even know the words for sure, but it just religiously repeats. and so, knowing that its one of the beatles tunes, i searched my music folders in the laptop and the first file i clicked on was a hard days night, and it was the right song! haha i was thrilled. hehe. it tickled me pink.

hmm. today we had our first mnite dance practise. it was fun and honestly, quite scary at first. but after some time i managed to ascertain that the guys had faith in my capabilities and experience. it was fun to see the three following steps under my watch, steps that came straight from my head. it was nice and satisfying. hehe lets just see how the whole thing will go.

im feeling a little low all of a sudden, because i can seem to find the clincher when it comes to being dedicated to my studies. i now dont feel as if im in the wrong course, but rather, i feel like im just not in the right state of mind. im sure that one shouldnt need motivating factors and everything should be self-sustaining. but no. i am in need. and if im not there yet then i am in trouble. i cant foresee a way to solve this problem and hence, im agitated. its because of uncertainty and not knowing, i guess. haih. entahlah entah entah entah.

its difficult to find the right balance. its hard to decide what's right and whats outright. the GIT test is worth 50% and the GAHC essay 20%, but here i am, blogging.

haih in life there are so many difficult things, so many difficult decisions, so many rights and wrongs and above all that, there is also the expectations and outside influence. the list and its dichotomies branch on and on and on.

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i am i am i. a little gila at the moment and desperately in need of some goddamn focus. please.

<3 <3 <3

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