straightjacket and stardust

Thursday, March 16, 2006

I have my blog page all open and ready
And have no idea what to blog about
Im having this absolutely irritating dry coughs which goes mad
And wake up feeling like doom is near
But then once I get out and about the symptoms just fade off
And once I get back home it returns with a vengeance
Suffice to say im allergic to Belfield
Lols
I saw a guy n frenster who I had a crush on when I was 14
Lols
And it just made me realize how the reality is in Malaysia
And in just about everywhere else in the world
How everyone thinks they’re cool
When there’s just the exact same rat pack
With the exact same modus operandi
And the taiko wannabe
Just around the corner
Group overlap
Groups merge
In the end we all form a colloidal society where eventually we all outgrow from it and call it our ‘days’.
Ptth.
Fun though.
I wouldn’t feel like a youth otherwise.
Im talking intellectual. This is scary.
I was just casually reminded about my ielts results ever so recently.
And it made me think about he reality of the situation.
As usual.
I don’t give myself enough credit for my achievements
And knock myself hard for all the downs I go thru
I need to work that out a little bit
Everytime and everyday at work
I have this urge to blog something. Anything.
But in the end I resort to forming eloquent blog material in my head
Resisting the urge to just use one of the computers in the internet café.
And end up forgetting all bloggable material when I finally arrive home
Or find myself too tired to blog whatever’s on my mind.
My reflection in the window is distorted
Id like to see that reflection as quiescent
Distant eyes
Ebony hair on one side
Loose tendrils softly framing face
When in actual fact im just sleepy
And wearing my hair in a loose ponytail
Life is so much better when u over-dramatize
If u don’t its all a bland, tasteless gruel-like mixture
Owh no wonder I should sleep
Its almost 12
Patutlah ngantuk semacam
Interesting thing about work is
Im grumbling (slightly) bout the fact that the gaji is low by irish standards
But is amazing when converted to Malaysia ringgit
Im spending it all back home anyways so I might as well think of it that way
The amount im getting for a week is stupendous by irish standards
Nak idup sni with that kind of pay is susah la
But for balik msia it’s a big fat whoop!
Okaylah
Im having problems affixed in my mind
And in my head im imagining prefect duty at tangga pejabat in block a smk subang jaya
How prison-like the whole area was
I think the whole experience might have subconsciously traumatized me somewhat
Lols
Anyways I better go to bed
Im gonna regret the late night sleep tomorrow
When im busy at the till
And there’s the st patrick’s day crowd
Where im supposed to watch the parade with my boyfriend
And instead have to work
Tsk
Im rubbing my eyes already
Face half-singed by the heater
Sitting in weird yoga-esque position
Knowing id have approx 8 tete a tete blooms when my plant fully grows
Feck
The first bud just sprouted
*beams*
My first baby!
Lols
Its small and yellow and small and fragile
Must remind self to open window to circulate air
And take photo to stage development of plant
Lols
Im drowned in thoughts
If only u’d tell me something.
I don’t care how. Just anything so I know that ur okay.
And u got back in one piece.
Deep inside im guessing u got back
Extremely tired
And plonked urself on the bed
Fast asleep
And u still saying me just the same
Thank god for imagination
Thank god for wishful thinking.

<3 <3 <3

16:03