straightjacket and stardust

Friday, March 31, 2006

Its probably the little things that bring my mind towards you
Towards thinking of you
How you could make that expression in front of so many people
Something I cant imagine myself doing
Im perfectly aware that im beyond denial
That im now at the stage of what ifs
Of chagrin
Retrospects
And feelings of loss
Gosh
Im just so reminded
On how ur so incredibly stupid
Yet unequivocably sexy
Sometimes I feel like puncturing your feeble mind
Just stop it from its escape
Just hoping u wouldn’t end up with regrets
I have absolutely no idea why I have any regard for you,
Your absolution
Or ur wellbeing
But strangely enuff I do
And I know dat someday
I don’t know when
U would have regrets and that would be painful
N I wouldn’t want u to have that
Suddenly I see pictures of past heartbreaks and my mind whirls fast
Faster than any other day
Which made me think
Do we need reasons to be sad?
When we have what we want, why do we still find ways to be depressed
The whole grass is greener thing
I just went thru my friend’s frenster account
A fren who’s feeling unwillingly depressed
And he seems to have it all
Yet why
Why in the world would he be the way he is?
He doesn’t tell me he’s sad
From the way he forms his words
And the way his tone changes
i could just tell
he has everything you’d think a person could want
He’s in a happy relationship
In love for the first time in his life
And unhappy
Clearly it takes more than the very basics in life to make one happy
Or perhaps the lack of basics could be it
I dunno
But lately I am happier than not
Perhaps not love
But friendship
Companionship
Just an ear to listen
And fun times filled with similar interest
By gawd EVERYONE misunderstands
But I don’t give a fuck
It is what it is
It is what I know it is
And nothing else
I wouldn’t know how long this cloud will remain
But bottomline is
It keeps me sane
Thank you
U mean more to me these past few days
Than u’d ever know
So sing the songs
And mind thy words
This city is full of menace
Of rhetorical retorts
Of sarcasm and so much hypocrisy
It’s a city we live in
The city
We never sleep
Goodnight.

<3 <3 <3

01:20