Saturday, January 21, 2006
The fact that im a vulnerable piece of work is not something im trying to hide
I know I hurt easily
And I know I keep em scars
I find it so hard to forget
And I find it so difficult to just let sleeping dogs lie
Today I made an interesting decision
Of keeping my mouth shut
Just because my best friend is so happy
Its not autonomous
Nor is it definite
But what I have to say will her hurt her beyond what she can endure
But its hurting me too
I have to admit
That part of me feels scarred
Feels torn apart
I didn’t feel it before
But knowing that he can somehow get away with everything
Fills me with dread
With pain
Right now I feel rigid
My room is clean, except for an almost perfectly round island of mess
In the middle of the room
Waiting to be picked up
Stashed
Folded
Used
Kept
My mind is, like that island
A mess
Waiting for itself to unwind
And to empty
I will do it.
I will.
Just will me.
I will.
<3 <3 <3
18:11
