Tuesday, January 10, 2006
As I think it
My heart literally breaks
Crumbles into pieces
I could imagine it
Almost doughy
And tasting of cranberry and breadcrumbs
I looked at the vest with diamonds
With a sense
Of unforgivingness
Not revengeful, just unforgiving.
I steal nothing but air
Mad, distinct air
My face crumples
And I still can’t explain why
You stole something
But you didn’t
And im afraid of being happy
Of being separate
Of being whole
I no longer like purple
And that scares me
Everything
From smiles
Blacks and blues
Shoes. Hugs. Unlimitedness.
I will forever be damned.
I will forever hate.
I will forever be wishing that things weren’t so true.
That I was less than tragic.
What made all the colours turn grey?
Made midnight an eternity?
Made me abhor words. Those words.
I hate you. I hate what you do to me.
I hate what you innocently throw in my face.
And I hurt.
Im screaming to you.
I am hurting.
I know you know.
I know you know.
Look me in the eye and tell me you know.
Because if you ask, im not telling
I will not tell
The air smells thickly of vicks
And musk
And I hear the hum of the laptop
And the quiet breathing of two girls
I am nowhere
And I am everywhere
Escaping. Running.
From chivalry. From innocence. From truth.
I lost.
You won.
Now stop.
<3 <3 <3
14:07
