Friday, November 25, 2005
I just had this moment
Where I felt completely devoid
I was wondering
What im going for
What im aiming at
What the fuck do i have to look forward to
I am doing considerably badly in studies
Im unhappy
And im so lost
Its like living in a daze
Day after day
Im even wondering what keeps me holding on
Im having the most miserable time of my life
And im actually pretending that everything’s okay
Considering that most people have no idea whut lies beneath
Anyways im surprised
That I could type all this nonstop
Just goes to show how it all revolves around my head
I keep telling myself that things will be ok
That im just being the eternal pessimist
That I should stop comparing
And stop thinking that im being compared to
Start thinking bout the good things
And forgetting the bads
Stop being distracted
And stop being such an obsessive compulsive
But that’s just me telling myself crap
And it never works
It never sticks in my head
Im heading headlong into an abyss of depression and I have no idea whut im clinging on to
Frankly I don’t give a fuck
This world is driving me crazy
Right now my life literally revolves around exams and studies
But it’s the very thing that is driving me nuts
Stupid fuckd up assignments sprouting out of stupid fuckd up norganized modules
I fuckin hate modularization.
I hate being the mofo guinea pig
Its alwez this way
Its alwez the trying that’s so difficult
Don’t have the fuckin modularization if ur not prepared!
Goddamnit
I fuckin hate it
I cant concentrate
And im wasting my time. All of my time. All blown away.
Really.
<3 <3 <3
11:43
