Saturday, October 01, 2005
Im at myra’s and wani’s
We’re havin a sleepover
Listening to cds
And basically just fooling around with our laptops
My battery’s running out very very fast
Siott jek
Giler menarik
Kekas myra nyanyi lagu yg sangat best
Sdap suara die dowh!
Hahha
We’re listening and comparing songs etc
Amat la cool
A welcome change to my roommate beromen kat living room
Tra la la
I see empty spaces
empty unfilled spaces
lols
anyways im listening to blink’s I miss you
it reminds me of zmn dlu2
we’re exchanging lots of old skool songs
sangat menarik
huhu
anyways I shan’t grumble
I wont complain
I just wanna roll up in a ball n shrivel to dust
No, dat wud be painful
And unfair.
I just wanna be hugged. Be loved.
Be lovable.
Lols
Does dat sound weird?
No lah
Actually im just lonely
Mak thinks its coz im being thrust in a new place
Completely devoid of many things I have back at home
A mix of growing pains and culture shock
Ayah seems to understand
He sez its whut he went thru kat Glasgow dlu
He seemed to be able to detect how im feeling
Even thru google talk
Mak is getting more and more anxious to use the webcam
She sez watching a squarish robot is getting a lil old
Lols
Im just having a tough time
I believe I have my right to be like this
Thrs nothing wrong with being nuts
Lols
I listened to mandy moore’s cry tadi
Anyways it made me think
Reflect
Remind myself of azim
Plik but true
I recalled the time we were near the pintu
And when he told me he was afraid dat I wud leave him
Once we left maktab
When he kissed my hand and he had tears in his eyes
And made me promise not to leave him
It makes me wonder, u knoe
Makes me think
Whut on earth came over me
I loved the guy. Deeply.
It was so deeply etched dat till this day I doubt I’d ever be in love like that again
I was 17. I try so hard to believe that that justifies my doings.
But shite
If people ask why, I tell em they don’t understand
In actual fact, I don’t understand it myself.
I cant even talk bout it without bringing back bouts of nostalgia. Guilt. Confusion. Discomfort.
I cant even imagine how broken his heart was.
Im in pain thinking bout it.
Tis whut happens when one gets morose.
All ur demons come runnin after u.
Lols
Im not embarrassed by whut I did. Right or wrong.
I am me.
Accept my weirdness. Accept my differences.
Accept my all.
I just miss him I guess.
Miss being madly in love.
Tra la la.
I think I might be emotionally detached.
Once I warm up to a person, im okay.
But even so, im not a clingy person.
I cant imagine myself being clingy.
Hahha
I cant go nuts I think
I have so many people whu are thinking of me
And loving me back home
Its stupid to go gila over here
Im lying on the bed
Snuggled under two duvets
Typing ever so occasionally
Right now im goin over the kitab argos
To see whut I plan to buy on Monday
Gosh
Myra tgh main lagu untukmu ibu
Sebak siot
Yoikes
I miss mak
If I had the means
I’d bring her here. With me.
Forever.
Lols
Speaking of possessive children
Suddenly dark water comes to mind.
Wtf?
My imagination is running on overdrive
And im doin absolutely nothing to slow it down
Forever couldn’t come too soon
Running circles round the moon`
<3 <3 <3
16:59
