straightjacket and stardust

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Lets have an introduction
Tis a topic I like to talk about.
Myself.
Im turning 19 in less than two weeks.
Dat makes me both sad and happy.
Lets not elaborate on that.
I am different
I don’t make frens easily coz im emotionally detached
Hence the ‘sombong’ connotation
But once im comfortable with sumone
Im all theirs
Metaphorically speaking of course
Im straight
I don’t drink
I don’t smoke
I wudnt say the temptation isn’t there
But im a believer of the fact that its easier to do it than to not
Which brings us to the fact that I like challenges
Hence medical school
*giggles*
Im a dancer
Its one of my many passions
Mebbe its coz its one of those things I don’t have to make an effort to be good in
Like sports. And exams.
Dance needs less expectations.
But I compete in dances still. Its just that if u enjoy sumthin so much, it just feels less of a competition.
The person I love most in this world is my mak
She is one person who’d probley still love me if I sold my soul to the devil or sumthin
The endless, cincang-takkan-putus kinda thing
I knoe every mum’s supposed to be like that
But it hasn’t alwez been like this with mak
I used to feel distant
But things change when adulthood came along
When I turned 18 I think it made all the difference
Like right now. I can talk bout emotions. Boys. Me turning into a manic-depressive.
And she’d listen. We talk.
Dat makes all the difference in the world.
Im single.
Honestly, not by choice.
Im picky. And circumstances rn’t usually on my side.
But I guess shit happens.
People might find me weird.
Heck, I find me weird.
I get really moody when hungry, hence avoid me troughout ramadhan. Lols.
I have an interesting sense of humour
Where people find whut I say more funny than I assume they shud
But I guess dat happens to loads of people
Ideally, my sleeping hours begin at 3-4 am
But being in college has obv scrapped that
Im alwez wide-eyed
Childlike could be a better word. Curious, maybe.
I don’t take things the way they are.
I see the interesting side to things.
Which makes life all the more interesting.
Its like me not letting go of my inner child.
Possessively insisting for the world to not spin as fast.
hehh
I over-analyze. Very anal in the not-too perverse sense of the word.
I over-think. Huuuge problem.
One of my bad habits is having the need to please.
To please everyone
I have this irritating need to be liked. To be loved.
I subconsciously try to make everyone like me more
Even when it means I cant be myself
Or dat I have to act or do things I don want to...

watch out for part II

<3 <3 <3

07:09